Go

I realised once again how easy it is to get sucked into the routine and how numb it makes me to my surroundings. Getting used to Beijing sounds silly, especially if you're from a small country of like me, but it's kind of inevitable. 

After a while, massive skyscrapers, crowded metro trains, street food stalls and chaotic traffic stop being a novelty - they are there. Everyday. Of course I get used to them. I'm glad that I've developed a habit of picking out random places around the city on weekends just to visit them or just leaving the campus. 

As soon as I’m out of the campus or any other familiar place, I get this slight rush of adrenaline. I feel alive and happy and 100% present at moments like that. 

Just like few weeks ago, as I was passing by a hutong and trying to grasp every little detail around me. I would inspect the details of doors, the typical rooftops of houses in China, the things people had on their windowsills (potted plants, birdcages, Chinese paper cuttings). I’d take a quick peek into their courtyards and find myself smiling at the all the underwear drying on clothes wires right next to the entrance and the impressive amounts of potted plants that could be crammed in a tiny 四合院 like that. 

Or walking on the food street on Wangfujing, getting carried along with this mass of people in a random direction and surrendering to the course of events. 

I like the excitement of finding myself in situations like that. I remember that about two years ago, I wrote this post about me not really adjusting so well to China. I don’t feel like re-reading it at this point - I know how I felt back then and I’m glad it’s not the case this time. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with me being more mature, with the change of my attitude, with the people surrounding me or by being aware of what to expect from my Beijing journey based on previous adventures in Shanghai. Probably all of these things together. Life has a funny way of giving us a lesson. I might not be so good at deciphering these lessons, but I’m pretty sure I’m on to something here. 

What really matters though - I’ve realised that living in a culture so different of mine and so far away from home - it really makes me happy. I thought I loved being safe, but a year back in Sønderborg proved me that is not the case. I had a job (more than one even), a cool flat, plenty of friends at uni and outside, plenty of free time and it felt like all of it was handed to me on a silver plate. This was all convenient, but seemed to be leading to a mediocre and eventless life of simple comfort. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with this. However, I know it’s not for me. Adventures, constant movement, experiences, new ideas and a new outlook on life is what I crave for. I’m okay with going through times of discomfort and stress, as these are the things that make me grow. 

I’m on an amazing journey (still having no idea about the destination) and I feel so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity - this is a thought I get every few days. And to me, there’s nothing more satisfying to feel this way. 

All through my early years I’d been taught to conform - it’s liberating to loose myself in the chaos of life and find harmony through that.